Not Meant to Be
by triciasama
Summary: There are some things that are not meant to be. But sometimes, fate decides otherwise. Written in Reeve's POV. *Complete*
1. Just a usual day, right?

**Not Meant to Be__**

_... there are some things that fate decides_

Disclaimer: All characters are the rightful property of Squaresoft.

Author: Tricia-sama

*Warning: This fic contains shounen-ai*

**Chapter 1 - Just a usual day, right?**

****

  It was the usual day at the office.

  Wake up at an ungodly hour, shuffle to work, spill scalding coffee on my best silk tie, state-of-the-art printer decides it needs a hiatus when an important document is due.

  All within a morning.

  I managed a weak grin as my secretary waddled in with yet another heap of blueprints.

  "Morning, Rachel."

  "Morning, sir," she gasped, laying the towering pile of workload on my polished desk with a resounding thud. The poor girl was literally toppling forward under the tremendous weight.

  "Heavy?" I queried.

 She raised an exasperated eyebrow.

  So much for trying to be polite.

  "Could you have somebody here to take a look at the printer? The blasted thing wouldn't work," I decided to get straight to the point.

  She finally threw me a subtle smile.

  "I'll send somebody up in a moment, sir," she replied automatically before retreating from my cluttered office. "And, sir?"

  I lifted my head in acknowledgment.

  "You have a stain on your tie," she added with unmasked amusement before stepping out.

  As always, she had the last word. I smiled.

  I hastily grabbed a few tissues and fervently blotted at the infamous blotch to no avail. I sighed, maybe I could start a new line of fashion, deliberately stained clothing.

  It was almost twelve o'clock, I reasoned.

  A casual glance at the clock confirmed my thoughts. Twenty minutes before the conference. I figured I'd have plenty of time then.

  I have always had the rather annoying habit of attending to an appointment exceedingly early, no matter how trivial the matter may be. Some may call me a fool, some may sneer, but that's just the way I am.

  Downing the last of my ice-cold coffee, I grabbed my bulging folder before striding out into the hallway.

*                          *                          *

  I strode down the deserted hallway, polished shoes clicking on rhythmically on the tiled floor. A young man with a rather irritated expression passed by, forcing a polite smile in return to mine.

  Laying a hand on the polished doorknob, I pushed open the tremendously heavy oak door, letting it slam behind me with an undignified bang. I winced, at least no one was here to complain.

  "Good morning, sir," the calm, well-meaning tone was far from startling, but that was just what it did to me.

  Who would be so utterly absurd to reach here this early?

  Except me, of course.

  "Tseng," I stated in attempt to disguise my jolted emotions.

  He observed me somewhat snidely as I literally clambered over to my designated seat, which happened to be directly opposite his. I relieved my aching arms of its burden, lowering the thick pile of documents onto the tarnished surface of the table.

  "Did I scare you?"

  "What?" I immediately blurted out in surprise, regretting it the moment the words leaked out of my mouth. What a blundering idiot I was.

  "I said, did I scare you?" he repeated with a smirk, brushing a strand of his silky sable tresses back casually, fingering the exquisite pen he had in his grasp.

  "Nah, I just had a bad day," I mumbled, barely believing myself. My olive eyes travelled over to him, noting his incredibly muscular form, clearly revealed even through the generous cladding of his double-breasted suit.

  I wouldn't say I envied him, but admired would be the word.

  Right, like I had a chance to be the next Mr. Universe.

  Well, I could. Only if you could develop an irresistibly attractive structure by surviving on a diet of coffee and doughnuts plus an intensive day of mouse-clicking.

  Needless to say, I wasn't a fan of carrot sticks and liver. And I certainly was not a frequent patron of the company gym.

  I have known the reserved leader of the Turks for quite some time now. He was known, if not, acclaimed for his utterly impassive, yet elegant charm. I rarely spotted him in the building, which brought me to a conclusion that he was frequently out on a mission of some sort.

  A wary eye journeyed over to the menacing gun that was strapped to his being. He seemed genuinely aware that I was eyeing him, but any signs betrayed were disguised cleverly as he shuffled some paperwork distractively.

  I have heard that he was extremely apt with his gun, never hesitating to use it. He was like a tiger with its prey, taunting and torturing mercilessly before finally letting it slip into a despairing death.

  That was through the grapevine. People tend to exaggerate shamelessly.

  But somehow, I believed the comment.

  "Haven't seen you around the office for a while," I commented off-handedly, with a chief motive of breaking the awkward silence.

  "I have not been around these few days. I was out attending to some matters," he responded, his gaze merging with mine. A fleeting burst of ... apprehension? travelled through my being.

  "Sir," he added almost as an afterthought.

  "I would prefer it if you just addressed me by name," I recited one of my personal preferences I usually voiced to the employees. "But you should probably observe the formalities if the other executives are around."

  I swore his lips twitched into a small smile.

  "Will do, sir," he fumbled. "I mean, Reeve."

  I nodded subtly, mentally chuckling at the small grin I raised. Somehow, that just didn't fit my image of him. 

  My attention drifted to the cacophony of the muffled footsteps, accompanied by the familiar voice of Scarlet.

  Twelve fifteen.

  Ah, well.

  Let the magic begin.

**End of Chapter 1**

A few words from the author: This is the first time that I have touched upon the delicate subject of yaoi (or basically, shounen-ai) and I'm basically experimenting on a new type of writing style. All feedback appreciated, but I'm not going to entertain flames about the coupling. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Many thanks.


	2. Want a Ride?

**Not Meant to Be__**

_... there are some things that fate decides_

Disclaimer: All characters are the rightful property of Squaresoft.

Author: Tricia-sama

Warning: This fic contains shounen-ai

**Chapter 2 - Want a Ride?**

****

  My eyes hurt.

  I finally succumbed to the fact that had been menacingly mocking me for the past hour. My fingers were clearly demanding a respite, threatening to literally fall off if I stubbornly continued, and my brain had given up on me much earlier.

  Yet, the ominous pile of documents screamed at me lest I thought of leaving them uncompleted.

  This was not good.

  I sighed, finally relenting to the burden of exhaustion.

  How I wished that someone could drop by with a cup of homebrewed coffee. Come to think of it, in the state I was in, I won't say no to Scarlet.

  For dropping by a cup of real coffee, I mean.

  I wavered my gaze to the glaring computer screen, hastily noting the god-forsaken hour.

  One in the morning.

  How nice. It was tomorrow already.

  Bending down, I clumsily groped for my seemingly lost shoe, biting my lip in determination not to let the splendid list of explanatives elude me. Oblivious to the crumpled collection that hung disgracefully on my being, I jammed on the shoe and staggered into the corridor, silently thanking the lord that not a soul was around to admire my fashionable attire.

  I guess I had to make do with espresso in a styrofoam cup.

  I shuffled out into the brightly-lit corridor, grimacing as I squinted my eyes shut against the harsh fluorescents. The hard soles of my expensive leather shoes dragged across the linoleum floor, amplified by the vacant surroundings. I was acutely aware that my footsteps resembled that of an extremely intoxicated man. Either that, or a manically enraged zombie.

  Face the wrath of sleep deprivation, I smirked contemptly to myself.

  After what seemed like an eternity trudging ungainly through the endless hall, the vending machine was considered a welcome sight. I leaned over, casually inserting the gil and thrusting the button. Sighing, I placed my back against the cold surface of the whitewashed wall, unconsciously dwelling on the irritating crack on the wall opposite me.

  What a way to pass the night.

  The mechanical whirring ceased. I extended my arm and lifted the cup to my lips, barely giving a glance to the murky, thick liquid.

  Something to keep my awake.

  After all, it was coffee, right?

  No sooner had the scalding liquid travelled down my agonized throat and my tongue hysterically proclaiming the extent of bitterness that I deduced it was a no.

  "Hot?"

  The familiar but exceedingly unexpected voice startled me. I swerved, teary eyes struggling to focus at the fuzzy image before me.

  "Oh, excuse me, how impolite," he sneered playfully, his sable eyes riveted on my peculiar antics with amusement. "Hot, _sir?"_

  God, that guy had a knack of scaring me.

  "I thought it seemed clear, _Tseng," I finally replied, emphasizing the last word with utmost sarcasm, loosening the white-knuckled grip I had on the styrofoam cup._

  Note to self : Never drink coffee from Shinra's vending machine.

  It amazed me how a man could stay composed and utterly presentable in the dead of the night. He snickered, throwing me what I presumed was an amiable glance.

  "Finally dared to venture out from your office, Reeve?"

  "Is that the way you speak to your superiors?" I replied, my lips twisting into a mock gape of horror and disgust.

  "Ah, no sir, not at all," he responded with an equal amount of sarcasm. He paused a moment before continuing, his tone peculiarly gentle.

  "Actually, I thought you'd have gone home, assuming you had someone to return to, that is. Unlike me."

  Was that a silent plea of loneliness?

  "I don't. So I guess we're even then," I stammered. I wasn't exactly in the mood to don my so-called formal exterior. Besides, I've got an outfit to match.

  Silence.

  A sudden strong inclination drove me to stare mindlessly at the unappealing liquid I had in my grasp.

  "Better get back to work then," he mumbled, breaking the awkward silence.

  "Yeah," my tone was annoyingly reluctant. True, I rather enjoyed the momentary distraction, but somehow, I felt that something else was keeping me at bay. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

   "I'll be off to Wutai first thing in the morning, I'm afraid," he replied, his voice as indifferent as ever, making me wonder whether the sudden vulnerability was a mistake on my part. "And I'm stuck here for the night as my car's in the garage."

  Darn, why did he have to say that?

  Option one. Be a devil and turn my back and run. Leaving him to think what a bastard I was.

  Or option two. Be an angel and offer him a ride. If he declines, that's fine. But if he accepts... if he accepts...

  Why am I so afraid of him accepting a lousy ride home?

  My damned conscience overtook the somewhat deep denial I housed, as usual, as I blurted or rather, calmly shouted if you put it that way.

  "I could drop you off on my way back."

  It was my voice, but I think the little angel on my right shoulder said it for me, because I literally wanted to paw the words back.

  Say no. Please say no. Just no. No...

  "If it's not a burden..." he responded in a somewhat hesitant tone. "Thank you, sir. I believe I shall then."

  Great.

  "Reeve," I automatically corrected him, attempting a casual smile but failing miserably, ending up with a compelled bare of teeth.

  I had to look like my passport photo.

  Just don't ask me why it came out like that.

  "I just need to get something from my office and we're leaving, ok?" I choked vehemently, at least, that was what it seemed like to me.

  He nodded subtly.

  This was going to be an eventful night. Wait... it was morning. Technically.

  Well, it's a change, right?

**End of Chapter 2**

A few words from the author: Thank you so much for the reviews. You cannot believe how utterly glad I am. Once again, all feedback appreciated, except for flamings on the coupling. I hope you people will enjoy chapter two as much as chapter one and have a nice day. *grin*


	3. Isn't this fun?

**Not Meant to Be__**

_... there are some things that fate decides_

Disclaimer: All characters are the rightful property of Squaresoft.

Author: Tricia-sama

Warning: This fic contains shounen-ai

**Chapter 3 - Isn't This Fun?**

****

  How lucky.

  Of all the things to happen.

  I glanced down at the flat tyre, which seemed to be mocking me.

  Everything had progressed smoothly since I left the building in my car, but not before I succeeded in closing the door on my fingers and yelling like a little kid, drawing a snide grin from Tseng. Then it started to rain.

  Not the subtle drizzle, mind you.

  Now here I was, standing in my sodden suit beside my assumedly sleek, efficient car that wasn't supposed to break down, clutching a spare tyre.

  Maybe some cursing and dancing would attract more attention.

  Nah.

  Cars streaked by. One of which spread a copious amount of muddy rainwater in a somewhat spectacular wave.

  And I had to be in its path.

  Scratch sodden. Dripping would be more suitable.

  A leaden sigh escaped my lips as I bent down and shoved the jack into position. I recall how I looked up to those top executives during my younger, more ambitious days. I wore cheap, by-the-dozen-ties and sported hard-to-rid ink stains then, dreaming of the days I'll manage to clamber up the corporate ladder.

  Things haven't changed much since then.

  Except maybe the fact that I have traded the polyester ties for silk ones, and a coffee stain in place of the ink stains.

  Coffee stain?

  I glanced down, vaguely remembering the spot I acquired earlier.

  Of course, it had to still be there, even though I think the torrential rain was bleaching my crimson tie.

  "Need help?"

  I whirled, unconsciously squinting at the tiny pinpricks of rain that poured incessantly. I could barely make out the silhouette, but I knew who it was.

  "Should be ok," I grunted, wedging the tyre into place and tightening the bolts, stepping back to admire my handiwork.

  At least I didn't screw up this time.

  "Let's get back to the car," I turned to Tseng. The poor guy just had to accept a ride from me, of all people. Bad luck was following me like an ominous cloud these days.

  I placed my hand on the handle, thankful for a warm, dry car to return to.

  It didn't budge.

  What the- 

  The shrieking alarm sounded the moment I discerned the keys were glinting mischievously at me.

  In the ignition, of course.

  God, what did I do to deserve this?

  I slumped against my car, defeated. The irritating wails of the alarm were damaging every eardrum in the vicinity, making me half-expecting to see 'wanted' posters with my photograph plastered on by sleep-deprived neighbours the next morning.

  Good, they'll find my body then.

  "Reeve?"

  I didn't have the energy to tilt my head, so I just gave a frustrated grunt.

  "I believe we could attempt to wave someone down," Tseng offered, not a shred of exasperation betrayed in his baritone.

  "We could," I snorted, my tone slightly hopeful. Giving a glance at the deserted road, I doubted that if I got hit by a passing car and lay helpless in the middle of the road, I would die before the next car came by.

  Or the so-called Samaritan who stopped would be an axe-murderer.

  "But I don't think it's a good idea," I added hastily. 

  It seemed like an eternity, standing in the torrential rain, jumping at every discernable sound. Tseng was as stoic as ever, sable eyes riveted on the grey expanse of road, arms folded across his chest. His drenched raven locks glimmered in the meagre rays of light, spreading a fluctuating aura of light around him.

  God, he was so beautiful.

  Beautiful?

  My half-lowered eyelids sprang back. I toppled forward so abruptly I thought I sprained my ankle.

  I swerved in time to see a car pulling up beside me.

  God does exist.

  "Rude?" my eyes widened in astonishment. I had to be hallucinating. Or maybe this was just a stupid dream.

  Yeah, an utterly absurd dream.

  How else will I get a punctured tyre, lock the keys in my car, wake the whole neighbourhood and then someone I happen to know was the first to pass by at three in the morning?

  Someone pinch me.

  "Reeve, get in the car."

  I suddenly realized what a crazed lunatic I was, standing out in the pouring rain when I perfectly well had to chance to clamber into the safety of a car.

  Needless to say, I scrambled in.

  "What brings you out here at two in the morning?" I heard Tseng ask the silent Turk before I managed to catch my breath.

  He didn't reply. Instead, he gestured carelessly over to the front seat. There lay a rumpled assortment of unruly red hair and wrinkled suit.

  Oh, look, it moved.

  "He passed out. So I decided to get him home."

  I was deciding whether to wring my suit dry and risk destroying the car or suffer like a fugitive from hell.

  "So, where to?" Rude continued after a slight pause.

  "My apartment. Reeve can stay the night," Tseng responded.

  Did I hear something wrong?

  "Hey, it's no problem, I can-" Rude began until Tseng cut him off.

  "Look, there's no reason to burden you. Especially since you've got our dear Reno on your hands," he turned toward me. "Provided Reeve gives the go ahead."

  Me?

  I stared blankly at him for a few moments.

  Oh, right. Answer, Answer.

  "I-I don't mind, really."

  I don't mind?

  Funny, I really didn't mind.

  Something tells me that this wasn't going to be my usual day.

**End of Chapter 3**

A few words from the author: Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. Hopefully, I'll be able to update weekly, if school is not too much of a burden. In the meantime, I shall just assure you that I will be uploading the next chapter soon, as I'm almost done with that. Thank you guys so much for reviewing.


	4. Did you know?

**Not Meant to Be__**

_... there are some things that fate decides_

Disclaimer: All characters are the rightful property of Squaresoft.

Author: Tricia-sama

Warning: This fic contains shounen-ai

**Chapter 4 - Did you know?**

****

  So warm.

  It was morning. Silvery melodies of the cheery birds floated in with the soothing morning breeze that reminisced of yesterday's transient shower.

  The perfect Sunday morning.

  That is, if my brick-laden eyelids were not still craving for slumber.

  A gentle moan eluded me as I struggled to pry myself from my all-too-comfortable position. Something was definitely not right.

  First of all, I woke up without feeling fully refreshed. This usually happens when someone triggered their alarm at an ungodly hour, which happens to be the only thing that can wake me up this rudely.

  That reminds me to look out for those 'wanted' posters.

  This I happen to remember clearly because I slept through the entire commotion of my fellow colleagues trampling around over what seemed like a behemoth-sighting during one of the disastrous camping trips.

  Besides that, my apartment did not have white carpeting. Mine should be categorized in the upcoming line of designs for over-worked  executives - document-strewn.

  Nor do I wear freezing, sodden clothing that cement to me when I sleep.

  Which brings me to the conclusion that...

  I instinctively swerved as I felt a tide of even breaths and a gentle rumbling emanating beneath my weary head.  

  I was sleeping on Tseng.

  This seemed like the perfect moment to rise and run out screaming.

  I transiently debated whether to wriggle out of the last remaining restraint and risk waking him up or remain where I was.

  Oh well, it doesn't hurt to try.

  Gently lifting my leaden arm from its place, I gritted my teeth as I silently prayed that I hadn't woken him up.

  Apparently, it does hurt to try.

  He stirred, and not a moment too soon. The shrill ring of the alarm clock brought him to instinctively stumble over to his room to halt the shrieking contraption. I doubted that if I shimmied over to the door and let myself out, he would have noticed my sudden disappearance.

  "Reeve?" he exclaimed softly as a delicate frown etched his forehead, sable eyes narrowing in abrupt recall. His lips twitched slightly as he fumbled with an explanation. "I know this is embarrassing, but I, uh, accidentally fell asleep beside you after you did."

  I knew better than to inquire further. "It's ok," I replied awkwardly.

  "Coffee?" he asked as he made his way over to the kitchen.

  "Yeah, thanks."

  "You should get a change of clothing from my wardrobe," he stated, gesturing over with his free hand. Then, as if reading my thoughts, he added. " I insist."

  Recreating scenes from last night's hall journey, complete with a dramatic drama of fumbling with awkward thanks, I stumbled into his room. It was quite tastefully decorated, I might say. White walls, carpeting and an azure bedspread to complete the setting.

  Blue. How conventional. 

  But it was definitely better than the faithful quilt I had back home. It looked as if an old, moldy buffalo has crawled into my room and died there.

  Ah well.

  Hesitatingly rummaging his wardrobe, I picked out a shirt and a pair of trousers, swiftly dressing myself. The shirt was two sizes too big, and being three inches shorted did not help either.

  I hastily slid out of the bedroom and strode over to the breakfast table, seating myself just as Tseng laid down the two mugs of coffee. I stared blankly at the slightly singed toast and half a grapefruit as if I expected it to jump up and bite me on the nose.

  "Hey, you didn't have to," It came out as a tiny squeak.

  He lifted the mug to his lips, so I could barely make out whether he was actually grinning. "It's ok, since I'm getting my own."

  Having barely four hours of sleep is damaging to the brain.

  And it apparently affected my judgment as I jabbed my spoon into my grapefruit with a graceful move, producing an ungainly ow as the juice stung my eye.

  "You okay?" Tseng asked, bemused.

  No, I was attacked by a grapefruit.

  "Yeah, just a tiny mishap," I winced. With a chief motive of polite chit-chatting I added, "So, how's work?"

  "You don't want to know," he replied non-chalantly, which made me a tad doubtful that he was joking. "Tiring, maybe, especially working with some peculiar characters."

  "We're all peculiar in our own ways," I retaliated, lifting the scalding coffee to my lips. "They call these personalities."

  "Working with Reno is definitely a challenge, but he's good-" his sentence was cut off by a slight chuckle as I apparently burnt my tongue and was fanning it like a lunatic. "Or maybe you have more _personality?"_

  "Hey, I resent that," I wheezed back.

  "But with Rude around they make a great couple," he continued.

  Couple?

  I must have voiced that statement aloud because Tseng immediately replied, "Not in that sense, but I suppose we do humour around with that on several occasions."

  "So Reno _was kidding when he asked me to look out or you and I will actually become a couple."_

  The abrupt widening of Tseng's eyes prompted me to ask, "Did I just say that aloud?"

  Beware: Stupid mouth on the loose.

  "He said that to you?"

  "He must have been really drunk then, since I'm one of them who has the authority to sign his paycheck," I finally squeaked.

  "So, uh, you think?" I swear, this was the first time I could use the words Tseng and awkward in the same sentence.

  "I think what?" I looked all-too-interestedly at my coffee. There appears to be something in it.

  Yes, my bewildered reflection.

  "About us."

  "Tseng, I'm not gay."

  "Oh, god, I'm sorry," he abruptly stood up and slipped on his trademark navy blazer, depositing his kitchenware in the sink as he hovered awkwardly, his back to me. " I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry."

  Debating whether to spout the usual okay or let my brain recollect what he had actually said to me was a hard decision. Eventually, I just kept my damned mouth shut as he strode swiftly towards the door.

  "I've asked Rude to retrieve your car," he informed shortly. "I need to get to my assignment. It'll take about a week so make sure you lock up before you leave."

  My attention shifted transiently to the piece of document that had apparently conducted a successful escape attempt and landed on the tiled floor. I was about to crouch and reach for it when Tseng inadvertently slid the few inches forward to grope for the escapee.

  I was evidently aware of the closing gap between us as Tseng clumsily, note: CLUMSILY, stood up.

  Or maybe that was a side effect of having him too close to me, hovering barely inches away. My lips slipped in subtle astonishment as his sable eyes riveted on mine.

  Almost suddenly, his lips pressed onto mine, melding in a brutal and passionate kiss. I gasped softly. If passion could gnaw you, this devoured me whole. His citrusy odour plunged me into abrupt assurance as I revelled on his lips that tasted slightly of morning dew intermingled with the salty sea breeze.

  Ok, bad analogy.

  And it dawned on me that I was kissing another man.

  "Tseng," I blurted as I broke off looking like a chocobo in the headlights.

  "I'd better be going," he mumbled as he tumbled out the door.

  I couldn't love him.

  Could I?

**End of Chapter 4**

A few words from the author: Erm... if any of you noticed a delay in putting this (rewritten) chapter up, I apologize fervently. (Result of nearly fainting when rereading the last two chapters and exams) Also, I made this chapter a tad longer, and the next chapter would be the final one. Thank you so much for your support and please review. 


	5. Don't you?

**Not Meant to Be__**

_... there are some things that fate decides_

Disclaimer: All characters are the rightful property of Squaresoft.

Author: Tricia-sama

Warning: This fic contains shounen-ai

**Chapter 5 - Don't you?**

****

  The land crowned in all its golden glory. The icy wind that foresees winter and the unpredictable showers that reminisces of summer.

  Autumn.

  It only reminded me that it had been a long, agonizing week since I had even managed to catch the slightest glimpse of Tseng.

  "Sir?"

  I swerved, transiently debating whether to risk displaying my smiley face emblazoned mug to appear to act natural or fervently pray that she would not notice the light crimson that rose to my cheeks at the thought that if she knew what I was distracted by.

    "Leave them on my desk, Rachel," I replied as I lifted the mug nonchalantly to my lips. That seemed like a better alternative than fumbling and spilling hot coffee on myself.

  "Rough week?" she asked as I heard her high heels teetering over the linoleum floor. Merely toting the heavy piles of work could be considered a workout. Maybe I should take that up as exercise.

  "Just about," I grinned back in reply, knowing that I was lying through my teeth. Well, at least it was the truth.

  Not the whole truth or nothing but the truth, though.

  I sighed, deciding whether to take advantage of the hiatus to finish my work. The usual mundane schedule.

  This coming from a filthy rich executive who would rather sit at home and talk to his cat on a Saturday night.

  A rather scary thought.

  Technically, rough week was an understatement. Deadlines to meet, pretence of being idyllically indifferent to some of my colleagues, as largely irritating they may be.

  Excuse the pun. 

  But most of all, the thought of the brief caress of lips.

  The thought of Tseng.

  The thought that I loved him.

  I nearly cracked my teeth biting down on the mug that I lifted to my lips as soon as I radically admitted that to myself.

  I was in love. With Tseng.

  I was in love with Tseng.

  Okay, which part of this sentence do I don't understand, because I'm absurdly repeating it.

  I was not in love with Tseng.

  I did not spend restless night thinking about the rough kiss that still lingered, and hoping for another. I did not finger the material of the borrowed shirt and think of how it looked on him.

  I'm fighting a losing battle here.

  Which leaves me with...

  A. Grab him in the hall spontaneously and kiss him on the lips. In full view of everybody in sight.

  B. "Hey, Tseng, you remember the time you accidentally brushed against me? I really liked it, so, you think I'm gay?"

  C. "Hojo, about the experiment, you told me you wanted a human guinea pig?"

  Or D. Forget anything ever happened.

  I'm opting for D.

  A leaden sigh escaped my lips as I lay the mug on my desk, the rough edge carelessly scraping the polished surface. I leant against the crystalline panel of cool glass, arms folded absently.

  My olive eyes flickered warily as I caught a vague reflection in the glass. I did not need to look twice, not look closer or longer, for I knew whom it was.

  "Go away," the near whisper fell through my clenched teeth.

  "I just need you to sign these reports, sir," he informed shortly as I swerved to face him, barely giving a glance as I pried the papers with trembling fingers that were apparently caused by my racing pulse. Reaching for my pen, I poised it over the thickly print document.

  "It's the approval for the rebuilding of Sector 7," I was acutely aware as he bent over me, gesturing to the dotted line. His hand brushed against my shoulder, and I did not know whether he noticed the discreet shudder.

  I hastily scrawled a wobbly signature and turned my back towards him. It seemed too obvious, but I'd rather not face him.

  "Reeve, about that-"

  "Sir, not Reeve."

  He seemed slightly jolted at the tone of my remark, which was actually in immediate contrast with my true emotions.

  "Well then, _sir, about that morning I- I'm sorry."_

  "I'm not mad at you, Tseng. I'm furious at myself. I'm angry for never noticing, for never admitting that I was attracted to you, and letting myself... love you."

  I could sense his warm being hovering behind as I riveted my eyes on the splendour of autumn. I couldn't believe I just said that.

  Love you. Good one, Reeve.

  I wish I could have stuffed the words back into my mouth. Or hope that he suddenly went temporarily deaf then.

  "I-" he stuttered. He never stutters. Which brought me to the conclusion that he apparently did not go deaf then.

  "Me too."

  The sentence was brief, but it spliced my soul. I gazed forcefully as the autumn-kissed terrain. Look at the splendour. Look at the beautiful trees.

  Stupid trees.

  "How long have you known?" I breathed pathetically in defeat. I made it sound like a terminal disease.

  "About ten years ago, I guess," his tone was distant, as I contemplating something.

  Ten years ago. I felt like I just woke up this morning thinking 'What had just changed my whole life? Oh, yeah, I was gay."

  "I can't," I blurted.

  "Can't what?" he asked, warm breath grazing my ear as he leant closer to me. A sigh nearly eluded me but I clamped my jaw shut.

  "I can't love you," there was an edge in my voice, as if I were angry with myself for admitting it. "I'm just not ready for this... this _thing."_

  Silence.

  I glanced up, as if begging for forgiveness.

  "Thanks anyway," I breathed.

  "Thanks?"

  "Thank you for loving me," I murmured as I felt a pair of warm lips on my own. Sweet, passionate, but we both knew it would be the last.

  "Maybe some other day..."

  "Someday, Tseng, someday."

_There was a fairy tale once told,_

_about a prince on a white horse rode,_

_recused the fair damsel he loved,_

_and happily ever after they lived._

_But never once was a story done,_

_of a young prince falling for one,_

_another prince, another he,_

_a love no meant to be._

_Yet change was not a word bore well,_

_as they finally could tell,_

_for affection for each other,_

_was not a form of love accepted as another._

_And so he stood on an autumn day,_

_knowing that he needed to say,_

_a simple sentence yet bountiful it may be,_

_thank you for loving me._

**End**

A few words from the author: Finally, the end. I apologize fervently for not updating recently due to some circumstances. Thank you to all those loyal readers who have given me all your unwavering support. *grins* Special thanks goes out to **Magnum Opus**, thank you so much for your support. This is Tricia-sama, signing out.


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